- A jarful of mosquitos
- The home telephone numbers of all members of the United States House of Representatives
- A carefully drawn map of the Paris sewer system
- Three syringes of pure oxyglutamine
- 23 signed headshots of Jennifer Hudson
- A dozen Lascar strongmen, primed for adventure
- Two rocks
- A Rembrandt painting entitled “The Conspiratorial Blessing of Isaac Firkkens,” which is believed to be a fake but is actually a Rembrandt painting entitled “Christ Oversees the Swineherds”
- Three Charles Darwin beard hairs
- An incriminating Betamax cassette of Jimmy Carter cavorting with Roy Cohn
- A cyborg giraffe
- Deep love for our craft
Anybody who can guess the object of our scheme will get a free signed first edition copy of our book. When we write it.
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