TAKE ON MEDIA

Much election-wise chatter has been spilled about the Cable Newsworthiness Network's so-called "magic wall," which ostensibly displays the revolutionary ability to change the course of history through clever applications of graphic interactibility. The Turner Broadcasting Concern saddens us with their low regard for our collective memory. The use of "magic frame" technology has been concretizing graphic images for over 23 years, as this promotional 1985 music video from the Norwegian engineering firm A-Ha Electrosolutions Ltd. will attest. Seriously, Turner, have you less shame than none?

This rebuke having been delivered, we stand staunchly opposed to the mainstream adoption of magic frame technology. It is only due to highly expensive containment systems that anthropomorphic representations of regional districts didn't spring from the screen to do bloody battle against each other on the CNN studio floor, dramatizing the returns in the most gruesome fashion imaginable.

And furthermore, what would happen to these newly three-dimensional entities once they had been unleashed onto the world? Would they be required to acquire citizenship in the geographic area they resemble, or, as unaccountable aliens, would they be sent to Guantamananomomo Bay-like detention facilities, where they would become meta-political cause celebres? "States' rights" indeed.